Being blind

Yesterday afternoon, I'm heading home from Kellie's house, driving up Marin Ave towards the Circle, when I see a blind man waiting on the side of Marin. He looks like he wants to cross, like he's waiting for the traffic to stop so he can cross. The problem is that he's not at a crosswalk, and immediately I sense the danger he's in. At the next intersection, I whip my car around to go help him. As soon as I come upon him again, I roll down my window and tell him to hang on a sec, I tell him he's not at a crosswalk, and if he'll wait a sec, I'll go park my car and help him.

He does wait for me, and when I finally get my car parked and walk over to him, he asks me what intersection he's at. I tell him, and he says, "I'm a whole block off! I'm supposed to be at Santa Fe where there is a cross walk." I ask him if he wants some help, and he does indeed want help. Now I've only helped one other blind person before, and I never know just how to help, so I ask him what he wants me to do so I can help him best. He tells me to just give him my elbow, and he'll walk with me to Santa Fe, and of course I do.

As we're walking towards Santa Fe, he says, "Do you have the time?" and I tell him yes, that it's 1:45pm. He says, "Oh my! I still have 9 blocks to go and I need to be home by 2:00. I hope I can make it." And then it dawns on me that I could drive him whereever he needs to go! However, I pause before asking him, because I am reminded of a time I sat beside a blind woman on a plane. This woman and I chatted a little during the flight, but not much, because she was kinda crotchety! We landed in Oakland around 11pm, and I asked her how she was getting home, and she said she had hired a service to come pick her up & take her home, but that the service wouldn't be there until midnight, so she'd just have to hang around the airport until then. I felt terrible for her, and without hesitation, I asked her if she would like a ride home, that I'd be glad to drive her home on my way home. She immediately declined (and was kinda rude about it - like I said, she was crotchety), saying she preferred the service. I realized immediately that she didn't trust me. I didn't blame her, really. She didn't know what my motives were, or whether I was indeed a safe option, or any of those things.

So back to the blind man on Marin. Even though I was hesitant of his response to my question (trying not to make the generalization that all blind people don't trust other people), I asked him anyway if he'd like a ride home. He accepted my offer, so we turned around and headed back to my car. I took his backpack and his package, helped him into the car, and then got in the car myself. He told me where he needed to go, and I told him that was right on my way home. I asked him his name - Byron - and he asked me mine. We talked for the few minutes it took me to drive him to his house. When I pulled up, I got out, went to the other side, helped him out of the car, and handed him back his backpack and package. He thanked me, and off he went up the driveway to his house.

Seeing him standing on the wrong corner of Marin, trying to cross the street, made me initially think how helpless he must feel at times. I mean, can you imagine what that must be like? What must he have felt when he finally learned that he was on the wrong corner? But you know what? When I met up with him, Byron didn't seem bothered in the least. He seemed strong. It was like he was waiting for me to help him, and he knew I'd be around to help shortly. He didn't feel or act helpless or bothered at all. He's for sure come to terms with being blind & has learned to deal with it.

When I got back in the car after dropping him off, I waited until I saw he was safe inside the house, & I started crying. I cried for all the things I take for granted. How can I possibly give excuse after excuse for not getting out on my bike, or going for a run, or swimming some laps, when Byron may only WISH he had his sight so he could do these things? How can I complain about the car I drive when Byron may only WISH he had his sight so he could drive? If I had to guess, I would say that Byron doesn't wish all those things, because he realizes that life is about attitude & what you make of it. He's blind, and he doesn't let it stop him.

I will feel forever grateful for the encounter I had with Byron today. Even as I write this, my eyes well up with tears thinking about it. Dr. Phil talks about how everyone has 10 defining moments in their life, whether positive or negative, that change the core of who they are. This was one of those for me.

Byron, thank you. You've changed me in a way I never would've thought when I first saw you on the corner waiting to cross the street. I am already a better triathlete/friend/sister/aunt/girlfriend because of meeting you.